It’s a Wonderfully Difficult Life

29 11 2009

 

It’s a Wonderful Life strikes a chord — several chords — deep in my soul, every time I watch it.  Most importantly, it makes me want to be a better man and to live my life as well as I can for my friends, family, and community. Deep down, I want to be counted in the ranks of the George Baileys of the world.  And if I can’t, then I want my son to get there upon my shoulders.

“It’s a Wonderful Life” should be required viewing for every young person growing up.  Anyone over the age of ten should see this movie with their parents, grandparents, or any adult who cares enough to explain what’s going on as the film rolls.  If you haven’t seen it in a few years, do so.  And bring a kid along for the ride.

This movie says it all about growing up well.  It does not hide the truth that life is hard, and it’s even harder for those who choose to serve others.  It teaches just about every character trait you would want to see in a young man or woman.  In no way is it an easy life — just ask George Bailey — but it’s worth it all.

Here’s a fun little trivia game for lovers of this movie…Click here



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Categories : Adolescence, Relationship, Resiliency, Role Models, Self-Discipline, Social Development

Counting Blessings

25 11 2009

Why can’t we be thankful?  Why is having an attitude of gratitude so difficult?  Even the most optimistic people have many days in which everything seems to be going badly, when nothing seems right.  Indeed, there are awful things we have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience.  Nobody is immune from trouble.  In time, every person experiences intense grief, disappointment, or depression.  It’s a necessary part of being human.

However, our culture does not deal well with trouble.  It likes to gloss over it.  For example, at DisneyWorld there is an exhibit which encourages its passengers to “turn that frown upside down!”  Oh, if life were only that simple.

Even the Bible does not require us to be happy and smiling all the time.  Instead, it challenges us to be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  There is a big difference between a happy face and a thankful heart.  Happiness is an instantaneous bliss.  It’s a bit like pouring gas on a fire; it flares up fast, bright and hot, but it does not last very long.  On the other hand, a thankful heart is a deeper joy, not mere emotion.  It’s more like pouring a bucket of charcoal on a fire because it burns slowly, deeply, and for a very long time.  Therefore, happiness is great for a moment, but thankfulness is eternally rewarding.

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Categories : Resiliency, Spiritual Development

Best Parenting, Teaching Books

24 11 2009

I recently read a blog which touted a new book called NurtureShock which seems to dispel a wide variety of well-accepted myths about raising children in America today.  It seems like a very interesting, well-researched book.  Unfortunately, I have a stack of a dozen excellent books that I want to read when I get the time.  The time for me is usually in the summer. But buying one more book right now doesn’t make much sense at this point in my life.

However, if someone were to say, “You REALLY need to read this book.  It helped me so much,” then I would surely put it on the top of the stack.

So, I am asking you — Yes, you — for suggestions.  I am begging: What is the best book you have read on parenting, teaching, or coaching? Please leave a comment (anonymous is ok), even if it’s just the title and author.

Even better: Leave a comment about the worst book you have read on the topic, or at least the worst part of a book.  Or perhaps there is an author or talk show host who says all the wrong things.  Bring it on.


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Categories : Adolescence, Parenting

Delayed Gratification

18 11 2009

Very few things anymore take a long time to happen.  Nearly everything is available in an instant.  Instant messaging.  Movies on demand.  Cell phones with internet access.  Instant winners.  Ultra-fast food.  Five-minute total-body workouts.  You name it, and America can make it faster, so we can fit more into our days.

A major component of growing up is learning to deal with long waits and unexpected delays of all kinds. Mature adults learn that many of the best things in life take a long time to develop.  A great education takes twenty years.  A rock-solid, happy marriage takes a good decade to develop.  A garden is made over the course of many months, with daily tending.  Hunting or fishing takes tremendous patience and skill developed over years of practice.  Many of us are awaiting Spring flowers already.  These are some of the greatest joys of living, and some people just flat-out miss out.  They’d prefer a TV dinner to a slow-roasted turkey.

Abigail Van Buren once wrote, “Maturity is: The ability to stick with a job until it’s finished; The ability to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.”

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Categories : Parenting, Self-Discipline, Social Development

Remember Who Protects Us

11 11 2009

Veteran’s Day is a humbling holiday.  There are no presents exchanged or extravagant meals shared.  In fact, if celebrated properly there should be at least a few melancholy moments of deep respect for those who have sacrificed and are sacrificing to make the United States of America the home of the free.

We enjoy abundant freedom, prosperity, peace, and safety due to the voluntary sacrifices of the men and women of the Armed Forces of the past, present, and future.

Let’s not forget to honor those who have served as our protectors. We owe it to them to live well, making the most of our freedom, to make this nation better than it was.  That begins with us and must be passed on to the next generation.

Click here for a nice tribute to the Armed Forces.

Click here to learn a new way to thank those in our service.

army_reserve_sunset_wp


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Categories : Education, Role Models

Faith Like a Child

9 11 2009

Tonight, my 11-year-old son voiced one of the most beautiful prayers I have ever heard.  As we sat on the couch as usual for our prayers before bed, I went through our ritual of thanking God for our many blessings, for health, for some recent good news, and so on.  My son then prayed for his 9-year-old sister who cannot talk due to her severe cerebral palsy.

It is not unusual for him to pray for her.  It’s often something like, “God, please help my sister to walk and to talk and to be healthy.”  What was unusual tonight was that he prayed FOR her.  He actually said the words that he felt she would say, if she could.  It took me a second to realize what he had just done.  It was so poignant coming from him, totally on his own accord, FOR his sister.  He was her mouthpiece, honoring both her and God so well in that moment.

And after every phrase or person’s name which she especially liked, she would say “uh” with great enthusiasm.  That’s her way of saying YES to things she agrees with.

“Thank you for my teachers and friends at school, Lord”

“Uh!”

“Thank you for the good weather and for going on a walk in the neighborhood tonight.”

“Uh!”

“Thank you for my physical therapist who is helping me learn to walk.”

“Uh! Uh!”

This must be what Jesus meant when he said that we need to have faith like a child. (Matthew 18:1-4)  Apparently, my kids have more faith than I do.  Apparently, there are some ways in which we should not grow up.

God was speaking to me tonight.


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Categories : Spiritual Development

Two Extraordinary Young Men

4 11 2009

This is a trailer for a terrific new documentary called “Sons of Lwala.” It is about two young men who left Kenya to pursue medical studies at Dartmouth, Vanderbilt, and Washington University.  They wish to build a hospital in their home village of Lwala, Kenya, but they have absolutely no experience and no money.  Their story is beautiful and inspiring, for they are normal young men who are working extraordinarily hard to make their world a whole lot better.  In the process of pursuing their dreams, they are inspiring others to be better and do more for others.

Forget A-Rod and LeBron; these guys are REAL MEN and REAL LIFE HEROES.  I took my 11 year old son, and he loved it.  It will inspire young people to live better.

Check out the website which explains their story and their vision. Lwala Community Alliance.  Buy the DVD in order to get the full story and to support their noble cause.


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Categories : Adolescence

Social Skills Needed: Apply Here

3 11 2009

There is a social epidemic that has swept the nation.  While it used to be contained to young teenage girls, it is striking adults at an alarming rate in recent years.  It sounds like this: “Um, it’s kinda like, well, you know when you just can’t really, like, seem to just um say like what um you like want to say?   Like, um, do you know what I mean?”

Rolling eyes

The epidemic is clearly some kind of communication disorder, but it lacks a name.  We need a good label.  How about Unintelligible Verbal Skills Syndrome?  Adult Communication Avoidance?  Teenage Verbal Nonsense Disorder? Arrested Social Development?  I think that one fits best – Arrested Social Development – because it’s really all about kids not growing up.

This communication deficiency is a sign of a larger problem.  It’s more than just the inability to make coherent statements with purpose and confidence.  It’s the larger problem of young adults not growing up in their speech, in their manners, or in other social skills.  It’s seen in adults who talk and act like immature teens, even preteens, in so many ways.

Historically, parents have taught young children to shake hands with adults, look them in the eye, and say something positive, such as, “It’s nice to meet you.”

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Categories : Adolescence, Education, Parenting, Social Development


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