How Do We Live With Our Cell Phones?

19 05 2012

We are all in the midst of a cultural revolution, and it’s in the palm of our hands.  We are trying to figure out how to use all these internet-connected mobile devices in a healthy way.  We are fumbling in the dark, as we attempt to use new, powerful tools to live better lives. And yet very few, if any, people are able to proclaim, “This is how you do it.”  In fact, it may be a decade before we establish a healthy set of public safety laws and social morays related to digital devices.

As parents and teachers, we wonder how to handle the iPad, the DVR, and the smartphone in ways that are healthy for our kids. Some are eschewing these digital devices outright, due to a host of fears or utter frustration. Others are welcoming everything that Apple spits out, trusting that Steve Jobs and his successors know what is best for us.  However, most of us are somewhere in the middle, looking around, wondering who has some wisdom.

We look to others for answers, as we consider our own values, and very few people seem to have it figured out.

Now that summer is here, I will be writing more on this topic in the months to come, and I welcome any suggestions, comments, and questions on the topic.

I’ll be considering this train of thought: “What technology makes easy is not always what nurtures the human spirit.” (Sherry Turkle)

For more on this, visit Sherry Turkle’s TED Talk





A Scholastic Tuneup

29 01 2012

Many teachers will tell you that it’s the middle of the school year when most learning takes place. So, let’s take a quick look at some old and some new ideas for helping young students get the most of their education right now in the heart of the school year.

Some Basics

Rest: Get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  The more consistent, the better.

Eat a large healthy breakfast, like oatmeal and eggs. Don’t skip a meal. And don’t eat high-sugar foods during the day.

Focus: Use any spare class time to work on homework, rather than socializing. If needed, ask to sit away from a friend who can’t stop talking.

Friends: Use recess, passing times, lunch, and before/after school time for socializing.

Drink water throughout the day. Take a water bottle to class.

Move. Don’t skip recess or PE. Exercise helps academic concentration.

Homework: Setup a spot in the home that is quiet and supplied for schoolwork.

Time: Set aside time every night for homework and have an adult available to help if needed. A little exercise right after school is helpful.

Daily Planner: Use a planner to keep track of assignments, tests, quizzes, and project due dates.  Use it in every class, everyday.

Locker: Keep it organized and tidy. Organized students learn more and get better grades.

Something New

Young people will tell you that they think best when they have music on and when they can access their friends with their digital devices. They will tell you that it helps them stay at it, or they will say that they are studying with their friends.  They will swear that they can study better if they multi-task and that their brains are far more alert for longer periods of time.  They will say that studying in a totally quiet, boring place is awful – a death sentence.  They will make you think that their brains are just wired differently.

They are wrong, even though they are convinced that they are right.  In brief, it is true that they are more alert and have more stamina to stay “at it” for hours on end; however, during all that time, they are NOT studying well.  In fact, they are studying very poorly for a really long time because they are constantly distracted.  If your son exclaims, “I studied for five hours last night” then it might be the equivalent of one hour because, first of all, he was only in his room for three hours, and more importantly, he was doing far more texting, surfing, listening to music, and using Facebook than anything academic.  If I sound cynical it is because, as a teacher, I deal with it every day. Sorry kids. You are all wrong on this one.

If you don’t believe that last paragraph, or you just want more on the topic, then go to PBS Frontline: Digital Nation for some excellent video excerpts on the topic.  Many experts say that nobody multitasks as well as they think they can. Perhaps distraction is the problem of the age. It certainly kills more people on the highways than anything else. Perhaps it is killing our academic progress as well.

Some New Tips for the Digital Age

No reading or studying with headphones on. If dead silence is just too awful, then some mellow, quiet instrumental music in the background is acceptable.

No Facebook, texting, or any sort of social media or phone usage during studying or reading time.  In fact, all cellphones, iPods, iPads, or laptops should be turned off and placed in another room, unless they are being used specifically for an assignment.

When studying, don’t just read over the material repeatedly. Retrieve the information. Quiz yourself.

Set a timer for a lengthy study session, and allow a break in between sessions. Maybe 30 minutes on, 5 minutes off. Or 60 minutes of reading, then 15 minutes of social media. The point is to focus on one thing at a time.





Raising Boys to be Real Men

12 09 2011

Boys are misunderstood.  Too often, they are disciplined and shamed by their teachers, parents, or grandparents because it is falsely assumed that good boys should act just like good girls.

Raising boys is a topic of numerous books, but one that stands out is Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson.  I had the privilege of hearing them speak at a conference, and their wisdom impressed me deeply.  Here are my notes and thoughts from two of their sessions.

Emotions.  Give boys permission to have an internal life. Give approval to their wide-ranging emotions, as long as they behave civilly. Their tendency will be to hide their emotions at every turn, but this is not healthy. Help them use words to express their feelings effectively, since it is not in their nature or in their culture to speak openly about their feelings. So, give respect to their inner life, and speak about your own inner life. Share your likes, dislikes, fears, sorrows, regrets, hopes, and weaknesses with each other.

Activity.  Accept the high activity level of boys as a healthy part of who they are. Give them a safe place to express their need for action. Embrace their physicality as natural, normal, and in need of channeling, rather than suppressing.  Boys need to learn to manage their physicality, but they do not need to be shamed for their exuberance.

Speak to them.  Talk to boys in their language – in a way that honors their pride and masculinity. Be direct with them. Say what you mean and mean what you say.  And when possible, use them as consultants and problem solvers. They will love feeling important to you. It is important to communicate with them in a way that honors their wish for strength and respect.

Re-define courage.  Teach boys that there is more to being a hero than physically defeating an enemy. Read the rest of this entry »





Growing Up Too Fast

12 07 2011

Our culture tends to throw kids in the deep-end of the pool without teaching them how to swim. Kids are given adult freedoms and privileges, without the responsibilities and training to help them handle it.  Now more than ever, it’s essential to give kids age-appropriate responsibilities, privileges, and freedoms.

Knowing exactly what is and is not age-appropriate is no simple task.  The unpredictable nature of adolescence makes it especially difficult. Every day I am amazed at how 13-year-olds are both incredibly immature and mature.  With any group of seventh graders, there will be some kids with tremendous maturity and some with absolutely none.  Even more amazing is how a single student can seem so mature one moment and so utterly immature the next moment.  It’s a paradox that makes my job as a father, teacher, and coach constantly interesting and challenging.

This is not a new phenomenon, but I think it has grown from a simple stage of development to a societal problem.  The problem is that many children are growing up too fast without developing properly.  Kids are growing up fast but not well; they are not ready to handle the adult things that they are getting in to so young.

David Elkind wrote The Hurried Child in 1981 and has updated it several times since, in response to the fast-changing world of media and technology in which kids live.  He discusses the effects of television on kids in great detail.

Read the rest of this entry »





Parenting With and Without Fear

14 06 2011

Fear is universal.  Columnist Dave Barry writes, “All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears — of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words “Some Assembly Required.”

We are all deeply motivated by our fears, and they influence nearly every one of our decisions.   Some fears are entirely legitimate, while others are unwarranted.  Some fears are healthy, while others are neuroses.   And while children are naturally prone to fears of all sorts, due to their lack of knowledge, adults are often victims of unfounded fears due to faulty knowledge or perspective.

Parents, in particular, are afraid of anything that poses a threat to the wellness of their children.  In their best-selling book Freakonomics, Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner explore the fears that control parents (and grandparents, teachers, coaches, etc.):

 No one is more susceptible to an expert’s fear-mongering than a parent.  Fear is in fact a major component of parenting.  A parent, after all, is the steward of another creature’s life, a creature who in the beginning is more helpless than the newborn of nearly any other species. This leads a lot of parents to spend a lot of their parenting energy simply being scared. Read the rest of this entry »





Creating Consumers or Citizens?

31 12 2010

This article, “Reversing the Consumer Mindset” is well-worth reading.  More importantly, as a parent or grandparent, it is worth reflecting upon, since we shape the kids in our care in more ways than we care to admit.

Here is a sample… “I was taught to throw out broken items, rather than seek to repair them myself or do without them. I was taught that love is given through tangible gifts.”





Life in the Shallows vs. Life at Sea

22 11 2010

In the area of technology and society, nobody is an expert because we just don’t know what the long-term effects are.  In fact, nobody even knows what a digital life will look like five years from now.  Most of us don’t even understand what is going on right now.

This video displays many of the realities of the digital lives of teenagers and young adults in 2010.  I think you’ll find it enjoyable, informational, and thought-provoking.

Jordan is a complex picture of modern adolescence, so it’s not as if this portrait can be labeled as entirely good or bad.  However, there are two things that are striking about this video: 1. Jordan is alone and 2. his social connections and activities all exist to serve himself.  In a word, I’d describe his relationships as “immature.”  In many ways, it is a sad picture of someone whose primary motivation is to entertain himself.  Jordan is living for himself and having a pretty good time.

While Jordan is not an evil young man, he is clearly living a life in the shallow end of the pool.  He has not grown up yet.

Hopefully, we can raise a generation with a reality that is more rich in meaning than this. Here is an example of a man and his family who are living life well, in spite of daily trials and extreme tragedies.  Furthermore, they are passing good character on down to the next generation.  Prepare yourself for the remarkable story of Ed Thomas, his family, and his community.

And to accept the award…





Another Hidden Role Model

1 09 2010

My role model is the night janitor.  Carson sweeps the floors, picks up trash, and cleans up spills and stains throughout the 7th grade hallway.  He does an excellent job and typically offers to do more than he is expected to do.

Beyond his work, Carson cares about the people he serves, and he exhibits a consistently positive attitude.  I don’t know if he truly enjoys his work, but you wouldn’t know it if he didn’t.  He is consummately kind to the students and teachers in the hallway.  And as a result, he is well-liked and respected by everyone who has met him.  Last Christmas, he bought me a Rhonda Vincent CD because he knew how much I like Alison Krauss, and we do not have any sort of gift exchange program here.  He’s just like that.  Read the rest of this entry »





Video Games

13 07 2010

I grew up with the Atari 2600 video game system.  It was the cultural phenomenon of 1978, right along with Star Wars (I was a nut for both).  To go from the old Pong game system to Space Invaders, Pac Man, Pitfall, and Asteroids seemed like a giant leap for all mankind.  I had such fun playing those games, saving up my money to buy another cartridge, and swapping stories and games with my friends.  Perhaps I wasted some hours of life along the way, especially in the long days of summer, but all in all, it was good clean fun.

Flash forward 33 summers later.  My son just turned 12, and like all boys, loves to play video games on his X-Box.  As a matter of fact, right now he is playing a video hockey game with a friend.  They just finished playing soccer and wiffle ball outside, so it’s a great way to cool down indoors on this steamy July afternoon.

This is what I love about video games.  It can be a very social activity for boys and girls to play in between more active, creative activities. Sometimes, my son and I will play a game when we are wiped out from the other activities of the day, and we just want to chill out and have some fun.  We tease each other and laugh a lot, as we play a game that keeps us acting and reacting to each others’ onscreen moves.  Mostly, he wins, which makes him feel great, but most importantly, we enjoy the free-spirited competition –  the laughs, the taunts, the punches — much more than the game itself.

As with every good thing, there can be too much of it.  Here’s one of many articles about the negative effects of too much gaming. Certainly, moderation is paramount with video games. Read the rest of this entry »





Inappropriate for Young Girls

13 05 2010

“The fact that it’s happened shouldn’t be at all surprising. After all, it’s just the way things are in the music industry. Sadly, a host of parents who thought they were doing the safe thing are learning otherwise. Even sadder, the great majority of people will notice, but not care.“  Walt Mueller, founder of the Center for Parent / Youth Understanding, writes this in his blog.

“This time it’s Miley Cyrus, a 17-year-old (not even legally an adult) who has chosen to walk the path to pop music sustainability by going through an almost overnight transformation. It’s not an original move. It’s a path that’s been followed many times before. . . . and, it works. Now, one must wonder what effect Miley’s makeover will have on the values, attitudes, and behaviors of a host of elementary-aged kids who watched and adored her and her every move.”

Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and a host of other young singers have all gone down the same path that Miley Cyrus is now on.  Each one, at some point in their careers, crossed the threshold.  They made their choice to run from the lucrative KIDS section of the bookstore to the more-lucrative ADULT section.  And most of their young fans follow along with a new-found love for what is “smokin’ hot.”

So, here in this video you will witness the death of Hannah Montana.  Say goodbye to the sweet, cute, happy-go-lucky Hannah Montana, the princess of the Disney TV empire.  Say goodbye to Miley Cyrus, the emerging young pop-country singer.  Say hello to the sexy new Miley Cyrus.  See and judge for yourself

Read the rest of this entry »





Beware of ChatRoulette

28 02 2010

Once again, we have a new use of the internet which is flat out dangerous to kids.  Thank you, Common Sense Media, for looking into this.  Please read the full review at Common Sense Media.  Here’s an excerpt…

The first time on CHATROULETTE is an unnerving experience. Almost immediately upon entering the site (there’s no log in or registration) you’re face-to-face with a total stranger whose saying “Hi” and asking you where you’re from. It’s an experience unlike anything else on the Internet right now. Created by a 17-year-old student in Russia, Chatroulette combinines the social networking of Facebook, with the web cam abilities of Skype this site takes full advantage of the anonymous capability of the Internet. You are just “You” and the person on the other end of the screen is just “Stranger.” The site itself isn’t much to look at, just bare bones text boxes and camera squares, but really that is enough in itself.

“The technology isn’t new by any means, however this use definitely is. The scariness of seeing a string of strange men’s naked torsos is enough to send most people fleeing from the site in terror, however there is something strangely addicting to this social “gambling” that speaks volumes to the human condition. Look for more regulated sites springing up that tweak this concept and reign in the content in the near future. Also expect to hear a lot more about this site as it explodes onto the mainstream. Whatever you do, don’t let your kids use it.”

This new form of Russian Roulette will be pointed right at our kids, unless we keep a close watch.  May this serve as a reminder that kids need a lot of guidance and supervision as they use the internet.  Here are some excellent safety guidelines from Common Sense Media.





The Reading Crisis

20 02 2010

What and How Are Kids Reading?

Some recent observations have caused me to worry about what and how kids are reading, writing, and thinking:

1.    The English teachers at our school have been noticing a gradual loss of reading and writing skills in the last five years.  While the “above-average” students still exist in good numbers, there seems to be more students with “very-low” reading competency.

2.   My colleagues and I on the 7th grade team have noticed more students each year who are struggling with vocabulary and reading comprehension skills, so that even in math, they struggle with understanding the questions asked of them.

3.  Everywhere you look outside of the classroom, students are reading a lot, but it’s mostly text messages, instant messages, emails, teen-related blogs and websites. Teens are often seen viewing screens yet are very rarely seen reading a book. (Some are calling this generation of kids the “children of the screen.”)

Read the rest of this entry »





Urgent Information of the Age

18 02 2010

I cannot emphasize this enough.  If you are a parent, a teacher, a coach, or have any connection with a young person, you must see Frontline’s “Digital Nation”!

You will not regret it.  I have seen it twice and will see it again.  You need this.  Your kids need this.  Put it on your “to do” list, and make it happen.  Click here for the full 90-minute version online.





Our Digital Lives

3 02 2010

Being a kid is complicated, now more than ever. There are two things that I have seen in the last 24 hours which strongly support this theory.

1.  PBS aired another valuable Frontline documentary called “Digital Nation” that I watched last night.  It can be viewed in its entirety, or in brief excerpts, online by clicking here. Even if you just watch the first 15 minutes, you will learn and think about the most important, and least understood, new aspect of the world in which we live – our digital lives.

2.  I received an email from a colleague this morning which listed the most popular search words used by kids on the internet in 2009.  Click here to view it.  Again, you will see how our kids are all over the place online.

It has never been easy to be a kid.  The good old days were not always that good.  In many ways, the old days were more difficult on kids physically, since there was far less peace and prosperity back in the 1920′s and 1930′s when my grandparents were kids.  However, there is not a doubt in my mind that it is far more complicated to be a kid now.





Thoughts on Avatar

16 01 2010

Immediately after teaching my last class of the day, I ran out the back door and raced across town to pick up my son at school.  We slipped into the theater seats just as the previews ended and Avatar began.  The screen was all fuzzy until I slid on the 3D glasses, and my vision popped open wide.  Once my eyes adjusted, I said to my son, “Whoa! Now that’s some high-definition 3D!”  He said, “I know, it’s totally wicked!”

While nothing very important happened in the first 5 minutes, I was incredibly entertained by the effect of this new form of movie viewing.  I felt inside the movie, but it didn’t seem strange or overwhelming like a theme park ride.  Simply put, it is the most visually-interesting movie I have seen since I saw the first Star Wars in the theater when I was a young boy (I saw it seven times in the theater).

Aside from the truly spectacular visual effects, I want to offer some other thoughts about the film, in no particular order.

Is it appropriate for a young child?  I was leery of taking my 11-year-old son to see a PG-13 movie, but after a little research, it seemed like there was nothing that would be too harmful for him to see.  In the end, my research proved true. Read the rest of this entry »





Too Much Internet, Too Soon

8 01 2010

What was the most popular Christmas gift this year for 5th graders?  The Apple iPod iTouch.  What is the most popular gift for 6th grade birthdays and graduations?  Hands down, a “smart” cell phone.  And what do they have in common that makes them so popular?  The most coveted feature is the wireless internet accessibility, so that kids can surf the web, email, instant message, and play web-based games from their pocket-sized device at any WiFi hotspot (home, school, coffee shops, bookstores, etc).  At first glance, it seems like a really fun toy and a great way to keep in touch with preteens who are increasingly mobile.  In fact, it seems like a great safety device – a way to keep in touch, to know where kids are and what they are doing all the time, and to allow kids to call for help when needed.

But at what cost?  What are the hidden costs that counter these benefits?  How many parents are even aware that there are dangers in this wireless revolution?  Well, let me pull back the curtain a little to show you what is really going on in the digital lives of many children and teenagers (and these are not just a few latchkey kids).

Read the rest of this entry »





Facebook Kids

8 09 2009

The most common questions that parents have today are all related to Facebook, since every student wants full access and most parents don’t know enough about it.  It is a generational thing, like rock and roll was misunderstood by our grandparents.

In the same way that our parents monitored our use of the telephone, television, and movies, parents today have the duty to monitor their children’s use of social networking sites, like FaceBook.  By the way, if you want an interesting discussion, ask any fourteen-year old if Facebook is more popular than television.

stockxpertcom_id22299901_jpg_f5d7efb543cae35d4079bb9a96faca19

Well, here is a good list of protections for preteens and younger teens, especially.

1)  Parents will know the password and have access to the child’s page.

2)  Parents can customize their child’s settings to make profile safer (privacy, visibility, etc).

3)  Email of posts, friends, etc. come to the family’s home e-mail.

Read the rest of this entry »





Teenage Media Addiction

29 08 2009

Children of the Screen

As much as I like FaceBook and text messaging, I know that it needs to be limited a great deal in my life.  Like so many things, I have learned over the years to balance good things like FB and texting so that they don’t take up all my time and energy.  In fact, for most adults, we know our limits, whether it’s ice cream, television, shopping, or wine.  We may blow it now and then, but we learn to balance, or else it consumes us and we suffer in the long-run.

Unfortunately, teens and preteens are not very good at balancing the good things in their lives. I remember coming home from high school football practice and eating an entire large bag of Doritos and a couple bottles of Yoo-Hoo as a snack.  I remember watching three movies in a row on summer nights.  I remember playing video games for five hours straight.  And this was not at all unusual for me or for my friends.  Kids, by nature, are much more impulsive, much less logical, and much less educated about the consequences of their behavior.  They do because they can, and they don’t truly believe that there can be too much of a good thing.

cell girl

Here is an article which describes the addiction of texting and Facebook in the lives of so many teens.  It’s worth reading.  Click here

This is where we, the adults, need to get involved and discuss the consequences of electronic addictions.  We need to provide leadership.

First, we need to understand the power of teenage addictions – that teens are far more prone to addictive behavior, and their brains record those good feelings intensely and permanently.  It sets the default buttons in the brain, so that when the child grows older, those addictions come back again and again.  In other words, a teen who is addicted to something will feel that pull toward that particular addiction throughout his or her life.

Read the rest of this entry »





iLife

7 08 2009

Five girls are all smiling and screaming excitedly at each other in the lunchroom, even though they are well within a four foot circle of each other.  Katie squeals, “I can’t believe I got an A on the science test.  I didn’t study at all!”

Sally yells, “I totally bombed the test!  It was so unfair!”

Susie shouts, “I have a math test this afternoon.  But I’ll ace it!”

Adrianne yells, “One time, I saw Jake cheat in Mr. K’s class and nobody told…”

Katie interrupts, “I can’t believe Jill still likes Jake.  She’s such a flirt.”  On and on, each girl in the huddle shouts louder and louder because nobody is listening.  Not a single girl responds directly to any of the other girls’ comments.

Nobody says, “Really, that’s amazing.  What’s that like?”

Nobody says, “Cool, tell me more.”  Or “Wow, that must have hurt.  How do you deal with that?”

Instead, it’s just one long and loud string of statements, beginning with the word, “I…”

What is going on here?  The first two answers are simple.

Read the rest of this entry »








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 124 other followers