Coming in October 2011
Growing Up Well: A Practical Guide to Parenting Young Teens
Middle school is a time in life when many parents adopt a hands-off parenting style. They shake their head and say, “My daughter is a different person now. I don’t get her any more.” In response to this frustration, many parents essentially stop parenting because they do not know what to do any more. It seems like the right thing to do, especially when it creates a temporary peace in the home. But this is a major problem, since children do not raise themselves well, especially in 21st Century America.
Many parents view early adolescence as a “temporary insanity” that can only be survived. But it is not an illness to be endured. It is a natural stage of life that can be wonderful, and it is parents who make all the difference. A parent who develops a good understanding of the age, a positive attitude, and appropriate actions will provide just what a child needs to grow up well.
What a middle school child needs most is a deep connection and some wise guidance from his or her parents. A good parent will strive to become more connected with the child, not less, in this challenging time of life. A well-informed, loving parent will greatly improve the trajectory of the life of a child.
Growing Up Well contains practical advice to help parents of 10-14 year olds make plans for helping their children thrive in middle school, not just survive. It discusses how to:
- Connect with your middle school child
- Build a close-knit family
- Take care of yourself
- Root out irrational fears
- Discipline with love
- Create resiliency and independence
- Foster a healthy social life
- Guide their academic, athletic, and artistic life
- Handle the media and the new electronic devices
- Create healthy digital citizenship
- Get your child outdoors
- Develop work ethic and financial sense








How many boys have spent hours each day playing basketball in the driveway because they knew that they could one day play in the NBA? How many make it? How many can even reach the simple goal of dunking? I know I tried everything to dunk, only to find that I was just not able, no matter how much I believed, how much I practiced, or how much I learned. I wasn’t good enough to play in college either. I wish someone (or several people) had told me something a lot more truthful, such as, “Quit trying to dunk and spend more time shooting because your only chance at playing in college is as a shooting guard. But don’t count on it, since the odds are extraordinarily stacked against it. Studying is much better for you than playing so much basketball.”
A local radio station brags that they are “Younger. Smarter. Better.” It’s one of many marketing messages that tells us that grown-ups are “Older. Dumber. Inferior.” Well, as a long-time teacher of 12 and 13 year olds, I can tell you that younger is not smarter and better.
