Look Up

Perhaps this video is a bit of an overstatement. It oversimplifies the problem, but I like the main theme. Train yourself (and your kids) to live beyond the net. Don’t overuse your phone.

Video by Gary Turk.

 

What Kids Can Learn About Disabilities

My 7th grade students just finished the disability unit in English class. Every year I am amazed at how all the kids love to learn about disabilities. They are fascinated by it. I think part of that fascination stems from some deep fears they have (mostly subconscious fears, I think). So, we just open up the doors on the issue and shed the light on all sorts of topics that they have never been given the opportunity to talk about.

We show that everyone has weaknesses and many of us have disabilities, and that’s all right. We are all human, and disability is an essential part of our humanity that we learn to deal with as needed. In time, the fears go away and compassion takes its place.

Many of the students learn about disabilities that they have or that a family member or friend has. Most importantly, they learn about how to help those people with a deeper understanding, less fear, more empathy, and better tools for interacting with them.

The following awareness videos were made by 7th grade students with only an iPad and a limited amount of time. These kids had very little movie making experience before this, so don’t expect professional quality. I think you will enjoy their compassion and creativity. Each one is about 2 minutes long.

Cerebral Palsy Awareness Video

By Allison, 13

Down’s Syndrome Awareness Video

By Rachel, 13

Continue reading “What Kids Can Learn About Disabilities”

Raising Resilient Children

Rubber Band with white backgroundResilience is the capacity to recover from adversity and return to well-being. Paul Tough, in his book How Children Succeed, explains that even kids who grow up in the most difficult situations of poverty, abuse, neglect, and stress can rise up from the ashes. It may not be the norm for kids of adversity, but with help, they can do it. “The teenage years are difficult for almost every child, and for the children growing up in adversity, adolescence can often mark a terrible turning point, the moment when wounds produce bad decisions. But teenagers also have the ability—or at least the potential—to rethink and remake their lives in a way that the younger children do not.”

Young teenagers who are supported by family and adults who empower them will face life’s challenges with more guts and stamina than those who fly solo. Those who have a strong sense of belonging, hope, and purpose will hold up better in the face of obstacles. Good parenting can transform a child into a happy, healthy, successful young person.

Resilience is not callousness. It is toughness. I think of certain people in my life who exhibit toughness when it is necessary and sweet sensitivity when it is called for. I call it “kind strength.” Continue reading “Raising Resilient Children”

The Peril of Productionism

 

Busy MomMy wife and I struggle with what I call productionism. It is a variation of perfectionism. It is the belief that a man’s value comes from his ability to accomplish or produce something, or that a woman’s worth is found in the amount that she can get done in a day. In other words, a good man is productive every day, while a lazy man is a lousy man. A good day for a good woman is measured in the amount of to do’s accomplished before her head hits the pillow at night.

Productionism is a little different than perfectionism because things don’t have to be done perfectly, they just need to be done efficiently. A productionist is practical and efficient, always trying to accomplish a lot in a little time.

In stressful, busy situations, productionists follow these mantras:

  • When the going gets tough, the tough gets to work.
  • If you feel overwhelmed, just do the next thing. You can do that much.
  • If you can’t do a big thing, just do a few small things. You will feel better then.

Appointments - list of day's appointments written on a spiral paProductionists brag to others about how much they accomplish. They make lists, check them off, and congratulate themselves. Some will even keep as trophies their old lists with all the crossed out tasks.

Being a productionist is not all bad, of course, but it’s a major problem when tasks overwhelm the ability to love others and enjoy life along the way. When tasks are more important than people, we are way off track. Unfortunately, the productionist will often choose the tasks over people, since there is more control and more pride in doing than in being. Continue reading “The Peril of Productionism”

The Story of the Book

Everyone has at least one book in them. Critical Connection is mine.

Ever since I was ten, I wanted to grow up and have a happy family.  Since I was sixteen, I wanted a career in which I could help teenagers to grow up well. As a teacher, coach, and parent, it has been my privilege to do so – often ineffectively, of course. One of the things I have learned along the way is that there are very few good books out there about parenting early adolescents (10-14 year olds).

In 2009, I started blogging here at Growing Up Well, and over the next few years people would say to me, “You really need to write a book.”  Continue reading “The Story of the Book”

Teach Your Children Compassion

No matter the age, our children need to be trained to be compassionate. It does not come naturally. Kids are egocentric, but they can and should be taught to consider the needs of others, as much as they consider their own. Some of those needs are invisible, so we need to become sensitive.

Our job as parents, teachers, and coaches is to show, tell, and explain to our children the needs of others around us.

This video reveals what is so true, not just in hospitals, but in every arena of life. We all have pain and joy, and every person has a different set of trials and triumphs everyday.

Show this to your children and talk about it. Or email it to them. 🙂