Character Matters Sooner Than Later

Teenagers may think that the middle and high school years don’t matter much, and that having fun is paramount. Or they might think that making good grades, making the team, or being popular is what matters most. Those are common viewpoints held by teens and by the culture at large.

Everybody has their value system, but here is a different way of looking at the teen years. We’ve all heard that the teens are building character, one mistake and life lesson at a time. Let me put it a different way: Teens are building a reputation right now, and that reputation will follow them, unfair as that may be.

If I could speak to every 7th grader in the world, I would say something like this:

“Kids, listen up. Who you are right now in school does matter, and here’s why. Who are you are now is how others will remember you 20, 30, even 60 years from now. It’s a snapshot etched in their memory. It may not be fair, but it’s a fact. People will remember what kind of person you were, and it’s that lens that they will see you through, until you are able to replace that lens, which takes a lot of time. Continue reading “Character Matters Sooner Than Later”

The Social Combat of Being 13

A New World Order for Young Teens

tired stressed girl7th and 8th grade is when the social life of a child amps up in three ways: importance, intensity, and consequences.

At 13, a child’s social standing becomes extremely important to them, as it has become more important to all the other 13 year olds. For some, it is the most important aspect of life itself. Most teens would rather go without food and shelter than suffer any sort of social trouble.

At 13, a child’s feelings of insecurity, awkwardness, and fear are at an all-time high. The hormones are raging, the insecurities are constant, and the emotional swings are intense. The biggest concern of every day is how to get through that whole day without any public embarrassment. Their fears are fueled by the intense anxieties of their peers. It’s a sea of fears as far as the adolescent eye can see. Continue reading “The Social Combat of Being 13”

Motivate. Don’t Manipulate Your Kids.

lonely boy2Once again, his room isn’t clean, not by any standard. Her backpack, jacket, and shoes are scattered about the floor of the hall, again. His grades are sub-par in math, again. She is making the family late to school, again. He seems to be nonchalant about his music audition this weekend. She isn’t running enough to prepare for soccer tryouts next week.

How do you approach the lack of motivation: carrot or stick?

What’s the best approach: direct confrontation, positive affirmation, a new system of consequences? Push hard or back off? Constructive criticism?

Who knows? It’s a minefield, to say the least.

It’s a thin line between motivating your child and provoking him or her to rebellion. Motivating a child, especially a teenager, is not an easy road. There will be resistance, mistakes and regrets, and that is if you are doing it right.

Continue reading “Motivate. Don’t Manipulate Your Kids.”

Kids in Cars Talking Life

mergeThe car is where the best stories have a chance to run and really stretch out their legs freely. It’s where sarcasm bursts up out of nowhere and cracks everyone up. It’s where kids break into tears after a horrible day at school. It’s where questions are posed, debates develop, and problems get solved. The car is the setting of some of our very best moments in life.

It’s why Jerry Seinfeld’s website Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is so good. Each episode begins with Jerry picking up another comedian and driving around in a car. It’s a little awkward at first, but very quickly the conversation gets cookin’. Continue reading “Kids in Cars Talking Life”

Managing Social Media (Part 2)

Dealing With Annoying Social Media Posts (Part 2)

After writing my last post on how to respond to all those annoying tweets, pins, or Facebook posts, I quickly realized that I am a hypocrite in this area.

Therefore, I confess that I need to be more gracious online. Just ask my sisters. They get the brunt end of my sarcasm and general snarkiness constantly on Facebook. Sometimes it’s witty and funny, and sometimes notsomuch. I have a few other friends who hear it from me, and I’m probably guilty of being a jerk at times with them. 

So, I am adding another key to managing social media, and it is the way to make the virtual world a better place.

# 6 – Practice Grace.

Continue reading “Managing Social Media (Part 2)”

Five Ways to Manage Your Social Media

Social media, like just about everything, can be a blessing or a curse. It’s usually both. It’s a #lovehaterelationship, right?

When we log on, we see a picture of true beauty, like someone’s adorable daughter jumping in the swimming pool with floaties for the first time, and we are so glad that she shared it.

Then we scroll down, and it’s ten straight posts of people sharing and oversharing about the most annoying things.

But what can you do about it? Continue reading “Five Ways to Manage Your Social Media”

Look Up

Perhaps this video is a bit of an overstatement. It oversimplifies the problem, but I like the main theme. Train yourself (and your kids) to live beyond the net. Don’t overuse your phone.

Video by Gary Turk.