The Pitfall of Comparison (Part 2)
In our house, there is little room for whining and complaining about how “It’s not fair!” or “But all my friends____________, so why can’t I? That’s not fair.” Fair is a taboo word in our home. It’s another F-word. When it rears its ugly head, I jump on it. I will respond with, “Do we really want to talk about what’s fair?” At which point I can choose from a limitless supply of examples of how we are so blessed while others are suffering so much. And we don’t have to look far to see that.
You see, in our house, we have a constant reminder that life is not fair. It is a beautiful reminder.
Our nine-year-old daughter, like everybody on the planet, has gifts and talents, as well as limitations and weaknesses. She is physically beautiful, socially charming, and emotionally intelligent. Honestly, she is one the most delightful people I have ever met, and many other people agree.
Now, before you get too jealous of her (or embittered about my bragging), you should know that she cannot walk, cannot talk, and cannot care for herself in any way. She has severe spastic quadraplegic cerebral palsy, mental retardation, and epilepsy caused by a lack of oxygen at birth. Her brain is damaged and there is no cure. I have lost track of how many surgeries, pieces of mobility equipment, and orthopedic braces she has had. In addition, she eats from a very restricted diet, consisting mostly of fats, in order to control her seizures. Needless to say, she has a very difficult life on many levels. It is not fair. Yet she is happy. She makes the best of what she has been given.
By comparison, I am less happy than she is, even though I have none of her problems. I am very capable and blessed in every area of life; I enjoy a good life, yet I don’t smile and laugh as much as she does everyday. Sometimes I feel deficient compared to her.
Continue reading “Life Is Not Fair”