3 Skills + 1 Passion

For young people to achieve success in their career, it is no longer enough to have a college degree. New college graduates feel like a successful, satisfying, and sustainable career is out of their reach. But there is good news for them that is not dependent on the whims of the labor market or the stock market.

The answer to this problem can be found in a simple equation: 3 + 1.

“3 Skills + 1 Passion” is an idea I am recycling from Tim Ferris’s new book Tools of Titans. In it, Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, explained what he calls the “double or triple threat.”

Simply put, young people should focus their academic and personal studies on developing 3 marketable skills that can be used to pursue 1 passion. It does not guarantee success, but it’s about the best advice going these days.

First, let’s look at the skills. These 3 skills do not need to be highly technical or in great demand. Not everybody needs to learn to write software code or perform knee surgery. The real power of the 3 skills idea is in the combination of these skills. For instance, each of the following skills: public speaking, writing, and social media marketing are not all that unique or lucrative, in themselves. Lots of people can speak or write or run a social media campaign, and most of them do not make much money or garner much influence. However, the person who is excellent at all three can be quite valuable in the marketplace and has a real shot at finding a very successful, satisfying career somewhere. Of course, that is assuming that the person has a good work ethic, gets along well with people, and has integrity. And it may take a little luck along the way, but the odds are in the favor of the 3-skilled worker.

The key is that you need to be really good in each of these three skills. You don’t have to be superior, but if you can be in top 25% in three skills, then you have an excellent chance of being successful. Opportunities may abound. And failures will be recoverable.

For example, the subjects of the HGTV show Fixer Upper, Chip and Joanna Gaines, were successful long before they were approached by the folks at HGTV. They spent many years attempting to combine three skills: Home Renovation + Interior Design / Decor + Realty. They were really good (Top 25%) at all three skills, but they were not truly exceptional at any one of those skills. It also helped that they were hardworking, good with people, and had integrity. And look what happened. They slowly became successful at a satisfying career. Then they got very lucky and made the best of a great opportunity with HGTV. And the rest is history. They are now wildly successful in ways that they never dreamed of. Also, they love what they do because they are passionate about making old things beautiful. That is their passion.

With 3 skills in place, then you can add the passion. This is the catalyst that makes the career chemistry really cook.

Every person has things that they love to do, love to talk about, and love to think about. For some it is making music. For some it is teaching small children. For others it is cooking food and sharing it with others. No matter what that passion is, the wise young worker will find some way to integrate that passion into his or her 3 skills to create a career direction and make the world a better place.

There are many ways to identify a passion. Here are a few good starter questions: What do you love to do that helps other people? What are some dream jobs that you would do for very little money? What you would do to help others if income was unnecessary? How you would you spend $10 million to make the world better? How do you want to be remembered?

Once you have a general idea of your passion, then you can focus on bringing your 3 skills to bear in the arena of your passion. Or perhaps it is more like injecting a bit of your passion into the work where you can do well with your 3 skills.

Perhaps it is not possible to use your 3 skills in any way related to your passion yet, but it’s worth trying, and it’s worth considering what needs to change to move closer in that direction. It might take five years, but wouldn’t that be worth it all, in light of a 45 year career? You may not be able to work your way into a dream job, but you might be able to get very close. The odds are good if you employ the 3+1 equation.

Character Matters Sooner Than Later

Teenagers may think that the middle and high school years don’t matter much, and that having fun is paramount. Or they might think that making good grades, making the team, or being popular is what matters most. Those are common viewpoints held by teens and by the culture at large.

Everybody has their value system, but here is a different way of looking at the teen years. We’ve all heard that the teens are building character, one mistake and life lesson at a time. Let me put it a different way: Teens are building a reputation right now, and that reputation will follow them, unfair as that may be.

If I could speak to every 7th grader in the world, I would say something like this:

“Kids, listen up. Who you are right now in school does matter, and here’s why. Who are you are now is how others will remember you 20, 30, even 60 years from now. It’s a snapshot etched in their memory. It may not be fair, but it’s a fact. People will remember what kind of person you were, and it’s that lens that they will see you through, until you are able to replace that lens, which takes a lot of time. Continue reading “Character Matters Sooner Than Later”

Your Family. Your Culture.

The most common theme among parents of young teens lately is that they want to live differently than the culture. Most parents do not want their kids to ingest the current culture of materialism, comparison, busyness, and anxiety. They don’t like what the culture is teaching and demanding.

Most parents want to be connected with their community, but they don’t want to live just like everyone else (too busy and too anxious). And they certainly don’t want the values of the pop culture to become the values of their children. On the other hand, they don’t want their kids to be social freaks, always on the outside looking in. It’s an everyday dilemma.

Without a doubt, it is difficult to grow up well when immersed in today’s youth culture, which is filled with empty entertainment, rampant consumerism, unhealthy body imagery, and every type of narcissism. It consumes them and then uses them as consumers.

It is so rare to get wisdom from youth pop culture today that it actually makes the news. Recently, Robert Downey Jr., the actor who plays Ironman in the Avenger movie series, said at the MTV Movie Awards“I advise you to dream big, work hard, keep your noses clean, be of service, and because you can, define your generation.” This was a shocking statement because it is so countercultural in the Hollywood / MTV world. The cultural norm is the opposite: have fun, be sexy, and take everything you can from this life.

But it’s not just youth pop culture that is toxic; it’s everywhere. It’s in the cafeteria, on Instagram, in the classroom, and in other families’ homes. The culture is teaching our kids to always look good, have all the right gadgets, and be the best at everything, in order to keep up with everybody else. It’s a culture of discontentment, comparison, and competition that is making our kids more anxious and less happy than ever. It’s never enough. It’s an insatiable more.

As a concerned parent, the question is, “How do you create a family life that is what you want?”  Continue reading “Your Family. Your Culture.”

Peace in the Parenting Journey

Being a parent is overwhelming in mid-December, when everybody’s activities and pressures are multiplying. During the holidays, our expectation of family life is heightened along with our kids’ sense of entitlement and their frustrations with school. Arguments are common this time of year. Perhaps a few lumps of coal belong in some stockings. It’s a time of year when we doubt ourselves as parents.

The journey of parenting is far too long and dangerous to warrant any amount of comfort. Deep down we know that any number of things can get sideways in a hurry, and far too many of those things are beyond our control.

So, how do we know if we are on the right path? How do we know if we are making any progress?

Salesmen can gauge success with sales figures, bar graphs, and commissions. Coaches can measure success with wins, losses, statistics, and championships. But parents labor daily without any quantifiers of success.

Mom and sonSome might say that a good apple falls from a good tree, but it’s not as simple as looking at the immediate results of children. After all, we all know a few stable, loving parents who use good parenting techniques but have a child who doesn’t seem to be turning out so well. Conversely, we all know a few unstable families, and yet some of their kids seem to be flourishing. Some kids rebel, no matter what their parents do, while other kids succeed, in spite of all sorts of family dysfunction. In addition, many kids simply take more time to mature than others, in spite of all the efforts of their parents.

We cannot use the current status of a child to accurately measure the success of a parent. It’s not fair to the child or to the parent. As a middle school teacher, I have learned that you cannot judge a person on their 7th grade year. Well, pick any year, for that matter. It’s not fair to judge anyone on a short era in their history. Kids should all come with visible birthmarks that read: “Work in Progress.”

In addition, there is no other measure that satisfies the question: “Am I actually parenting really well?” Continue reading “Peace in the Parenting Journey”

Connect + Guide + Enjoy = Good Parenting

You are never done parenting.

There is never enough time, energy, money, or wisdom to do it all right.

Parenting is incessant, and perfection is impossible.

No professor will give you an A for all that you did for your children this semester.

No counselor will tell you that you can now celebrate because you have accomplished all the objectives of parenting.

No PTA will give you an award for excellence.

However, you can try to keep it simple and just do your best one day at a time.

Keeping it simple, for me, looks like this.

ConnectGuideEnjoy

 

If I am doing those three things moderately well today, then I am doing something truly great.

I am being a good parent.

I am not perfect, but I am doing something very good well.

 

Educational Resources

Here are a few educational resources for children and young teens. Bookmark this page for use during the school year.

Sometimes even the best of us need some help…

Websites for Homework

Sweet Search is a Better Way to Search the Internet!  Check it out.  It finds academic resources, without all the junk. http://www.sweetsearch.com/

InfoPlease Homework

Homework Spot

Continue reading “Educational Resources”

The Peril of Productionism

 

Busy MomMy wife and I struggle with what I call productionism. It is a variation of perfectionism. It is the belief that a man’s value comes from his ability to accomplish or produce something, or that a woman’s worth is found in the amount that she can get done in a day. In other words, a good man is productive every day, while a lazy man is a lousy man. A good day for a good woman is measured in the amount of to do’s accomplished before her head hits the pillow at night.

Productionism is a little different than perfectionism because things don’t have to be done perfectly, they just need to be done efficiently. A productionist is practical and efficient, always trying to accomplish a lot in a little time.

In stressful, busy situations, productionists follow these mantras:

  • When the going gets tough, the tough gets to work.
  • If you feel overwhelmed, just do the next thing. You can do that much.
  • If you can’t do a big thing, just do a few small things. You will feel better then.

Appointments - list of day's appointments written on a spiral paProductionists brag to others about how much they accomplish. They make lists, check them off, and congratulate themselves. Some will even keep as trophies their old lists with all the crossed out tasks.

Being a productionist is not all bad, of course, but it’s a major problem when tasks overwhelm the ability to love others and enjoy life along the way. When tasks are more important than people, we are way off track. Unfortunately, the productionist will often choose the tasks over people, since there is more control and more pride in doing than in being. Continue reading “The Peril of Productionism”