The Solemn Process of Growing Up

Like Autumn, growing up is bittersweet.  Poet Billy Collins says it well.

On Turning Ten

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I’m coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light–
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the windowstockxpertcom_id129022_jpg_3daea408b338a37f876b18949df4f679
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Billy Collins



One response to “The Solemn Process of Growing Up”

  1. So poignant. Tonight at beditime I could not wait for my eight year old son to stop talking about the imaginary denizens of his imaginary “Action City.” All I wanted was to check my email, wash the dishes and collapse into sleep. This piece is a lovely reminder to be present with my children when they are on flights of fancy. Thank you!

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