I’ve had the blues for a few weeks now. I call it the blues because it’s not a full-blown depression, and there is no particular circumstance that warrants feeling bad. It’s just a nagging funk that does not seem to have a good reason for its existence, and it does not seem to have an end. I get it once or twice a year, often at the backside of winter. Since I haven’t been able to just get over it, my wife offered a solution. She kindly told me to get lost. (She knows me too well.)
So, Saturday morning I headed out of town to get lost in the country. I needed to get away for a few hours to a quiet place to reflect on the meaning of my life and pray about what in the world to do about it. I headed south and ended up at this old cemetery.
As a middle school track coach, I get the privilege of educating young athletes about the importance of eating and drinking things which will help them feel better as they practice and perform better in competition. It’s a crash course in nutrition, but I am amazed at how many of them will make real changes in their diet, based on just a little bit of education and motivation.
Jaimie Oliver is a pioneer in this area, and we all have something, if not a lot of things, to learn from him about how to help kids grow up well. This is for the benefit of all kids, not just the obese.
Once again, we have a new use of the internet which is flat out dangerous to kids. Thank you, Common Sense Media, for looking into this. Please read the full review at Common Sense Media. Here’s an excerpt…
“The first time on CHATROULETTE is an unnerving experience. Almost immediately upon entering the site (there’s no log in or registration) you’re face-to-face with a total stranger whose saying “Hi” and asking you where you’re from. It’s an experience unlike anything else on the Internet right now. Created by a 17-year-old student in Russia, Chatroulette combinines the social networking of Facebook, with the web cam abilities of Skype this site takes full advantage of the anonymous capability of the Internet. You are just “You” and the person on the other end of the screen is just “Stranger.” The site itself isn’t much to look at, just bare bones text boxes and camera squares, but really that is enough in itself.
“The technology isn’t new by any means, however this use definitely is. The scariness of seeing a string of strange men’s naked torsos is enough to send most people fleeing from the site in terror, however there is something strangely addicting to this social “gambling” that speaks volumes to the human condition. Look for more regulated sites springing up that tweak this concept and reign in the content in the near future. Also expect to hear a lot more about this site as it explodes onto the mainstream. Whatever you do, don’t let your kids use it.”
This new form of Russian Roulette will be pointed right at our kids, unless we keep a close watch. May this serve as a reminder that kids need a lot of guidance and supervision as they use the internet. Here are some excellent safety guidelines from Common Sense Media.
I recently read this piece about teaching on a colleague’s blog called Second Drafts. Unfortunately, I see myself in this. For there are some times when I am a really good teacher, and there are some times when I am just doing the minimum. I wish I would bring my “A-game” everyday all day, but I don’t. Nevertheless, I do enjoy the kids and all the challenges at school, and I do enjoy the thinking that goes with it, and so I teach.
There’s no easier job in the world than being a bad teacher. It’s a cinch, with short hours and plenty of long vacations. The pay’s not always great, but as long as your standards are low, and all you’re looking for is an easy job, I recommend being a really rotten teacher. Be really awful. Cobble together some industry-standard lesson plans and re-run them every year; grade superficially and with an emphasis on numbers; kick back and watch the seasons change as the sea of young faces before you renews itself year after year. (Don’t ask me how I know so much about this) Read the rest of this entry »
John Adams was a man of tremendous intellect and inner strength. With the aid of Thomas Jefferson and the other founding fathers, he set the legal and political foundations of the United States of America.
As a rebel, he was the intellectual force of the revolution against England. His words in support of reason and law were the balancing force to the raw anger and violent ways of his cousin Samuel Adams and the Sons of Liberty. Without him, the revolution would not have taken root in the solid ground of law.
As a writer and signer of the Declaration of Independence, he put his whole life (career, family, friendships…) on the line. Using his intellect, his pen, and his voice, he helped defeat the most powerful force in the world, the King of England, for the freedom of American people and their descendants.
Some recent observations have caused me to worry about what and how kids are reading, writing, and thinking:
1. The English teachers at our school have been noticing a gradual loss of reading and writing skills in the last five years. While the “above-average” students still exist in good numbers, there seems to be more students with “very-low” reading competency.
2. My colleagues and I on the 7th grade team have noticed more students each year who are struggling with vocabulary and reading comprehension skills, so that even in math, they struggle with understanding the questions asked of them.
3. Everywhere you look outside of the classroom, students are reading a lot, but it’s mostly text messages, instant messages, emails, teen-related blogs and websites. Teens are often seen viewing screens yet are very rarely seen reading a book. (Some are calling this generation of kids the “children of the screen.”)
I cannot emphasize this enough. If you are a parent, a teacher, a coach, or have any connection with a young person, you must see Frontline’s “Digital Nation”!
You will not regret it. I have seen it twice and will see it again. You need this. Your kids need this. Put it on your “to do” list, and make it happen. Click here for the full 90-minute version online.
My sister has two kids (10 and 13), both of whom are very athletic, and their family truly enjoys participating in and watching youth sports. We like to swap stories about our kids, and inevitably many of them are about something crazy that has happened in sports. Here is the latest…
“Last night at Hailey’s basketball game, we were playing a team we’ve beaten 3 times before, and this time they were out for blood. Never mind the obnoxious lady coach teaching her kids to throw elbows and “get ‘em!” but there was something even better. I loved the Dad and his teenage son, sitting right under the basket, who decided that in the second half they would wave their arms and yell and laugh while our girl was shooting a free throw. They did this twice, and then a dad from the same team went over to tell them to stop. They didn’t! It was hysterical and SAD. After the game one of our very shy moms confronted him. She told him “Good game, your girls deserved to win” and then went on to tell him how inappropriate his behavior was. You could see he was clearly shocked at this confrontation, but sadly he told her “your team has beaten our team 3 times, and we wanted to win.” These girls are third and fourth graders!”
Here are my thoughts on this scene:
A. It doesn’t shock me, although it is fairly rare to see someone THAT immature and moronic in the stands of youth sports.
B. I am so proud of the two parents who confronted him about his terrible behavior. We need more of them.
C. The referees, or the tournament director, should have stopped the game to confront him and thrown him out of the gym if he refused to stop.
D. I feel sorry for the man’s kids.
E. Like my mom said about my own baseball coach who used to lose his mind on occasions, “Kids can learn from bad examples as well as good ones, if parents talk about these things with their kids.”
In the grand scheme of things, we need to remember that youth sports is a series of kids games with referees and coaches to keep things moving along well. It’s a game. And sometimes it takes a jerk in the stands to remind us of that.
Yesterday afternoon was a cold one – a great day to be inside with some hot chocolate. The wind chill was in the single digits. Four inches of snow and ice covered the ground. Inside, we were perfectly warm and dry.
There were five of us (ages 7, 11, 19, 38, 39), standing around in the kitchen eating some chips, crab dip, and cookies for an after-school snack. We were kicking around ideas of what to do for the next hour before dinner.
Option A: Watch TV (The Muppet Show on dvd) or internet videos (Super Bowl commercials)
Option B: Play a video game (Guitar Hero)
Option C: Play a board game, cards, or BananaGrams
Option D: Get all bundled up and go sledding.
Sledding seemed like the most fun but would require the most effort by far. I didn’t really want to mess with finding five sets of hats, gloves, boots, snow pants, and jackets, and the cleanup is always a hassle too. However, I thought that I really needed some exercise, so we went for it.
It was the best part of the day by far – full of danger, excitement, laughter, and fun exercise. Yes, it required a lot of preparation, some patience, some fighting against the bitter wind, and some counseling of the 7 year old. But what an experience! The picture of three kids mashed together in a big plastic sled, about to shoot down the hill, is worth a hundred times more than any kind of picture of those kids sitting in front of the television.
We all need more of this.
“Life is about being out, and experiencing it!” Tiki Barber
Parents who set boundaries find their influence pays off
Your Health By Kim Painter (USA Today 2/8/2010)
Here’s some good news for parents of tweens and teens: You rule.
That may be hard to believe sometimes. And it’s true kids won’t always follow your health and safety rules. But studies show parents who keep setting boundaries make a huge difference. In other words, “parenting works,” even for teens, says Alanna Levine, a pediatrician in Tappan, N.Y., and spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.
The latest example: a survey on media use by the Kaiser Family Foundation. It found that typical kids ages 8 to 18 spend an astounding 7 hours and 38 minutes a day consuming entertainment media, drinking deeply from the fire hose of TV, computers, game consoles, cellphones, music players and other devices (while occasionally glancing at books and other non-electronic media). Many experts, including the pediatrics academy, consider that much screen time bad for mental and physical health.
But the study also found that kids whose parents set any time or content limits were plugged in for three hours less each day. “Parents can have a big influence,” says Kaiser researcher Vicky Rideout.
And it doesn’t stop with screen time. Other recent studies have found:
Being a kid is complicated, now more than ever. There are two things that I have seen in the last 24 hours which strongly support this theory.
1. PBS aired another valuable Frontlinedocumentary called “Digital Nation” that I watched last night. It can be viewed in its entirety, or in brief excerpts, online by clicking here. Even if you just watch the first 15 minutes, you will learn and think about the most important, and least understood, new aspect of the world in which we live – our digital lives.
2. I received an email from a colleague this morning which listed the most popular search words used by kids on the internet in 2009. Click here to view it. Again, you will see how our kids are all over the place online.
It has never been easy to be a kid. The good old days were not always that good. In many ways, the old days were more difficult on kids physically, since there was far less peace and prosperity back in the 1920’s and 1930’s when my grandparents were kids. However, there is not a doubt in my mind that it is far more complicated to be a kid now.
I teach a six-week unit in my 7th grade English class around a central theme: human disabilities. I developed the unit a few years after my own daughter was born with multiple disabilities because I was learning so many valuable lessons in my life, and I wanted to help my students see the world in a richer way. It has become the most memorable part of the school year for us. I think it’s successful because there’s a combination of positive factors: they are intrinsically curious about the topic, have very little prior knowledge, and are just old enough to understand these mature issues. Students read The Miracle Worker (about Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan), have formal discussions, write a journal, participate in disability simulations, research a disability of their choice, and create a digital report. Good stuff.
For many, it is the first time that they have thought in depth about any of the issues related to this very normal form of human suffering. I say normal because 20% of Americans are directly effected by a disability, and nearly every one becomes disabled in their lifetime.
There is a movie which illustrates so many of these lessons, which we all need to learn. Radio, starring Cuba Gooding, Jr., Ed Harris, and Debra Winger is superb. I have never known anyone who did not like it, and I know many who say that it profoundly effected them (myself included). I highly recommend it to everyone, especially kids age 10 and up. Here is the trailer.
It is based on a true story that has spanned over forty years. You can read more about the real people at http://www.radioandcoachjones.com/
At our school assembly this week, a high school senior girl talked about how she learned to “be herself.” I think you’ll enjoy listening to the voice of a young lady who is becoming comfortable in her own skin. It’s just 5 minutes.
Question: Do you have some specific things set in your mind about what the kids in your care should be and do? In other words, are you trying to put them in some kind of pre-formed mold?
OR… Are you looking to learn more and more about how God has made them? Are you looking, listening, and helping them learn the way they have been wired?
Don’t you wonder – and worry – about your child’s future career path? If your kids are like mine, people started characterizing them from an early age: “Wow, she has long fingers. She’ll be a great piano player some day.” Or, “He loves to push buttons and figure out how things work. I bet he’ll grow up to be an engineer.”
Now, we know that many complicated factors determine a child’s future. And the future is uncertain. But that doesn’t mean we can’t start shaping and visioning with our children – even at a young age.
Children who are given opportunities to explore a wide variety of interests and hobbies are more likely to get involved in a job they love. As they grow, we can help them identify and apply their talents. Here are a few practical ideas:
Donald Miller’s book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is quite good, but the end of chapter 29 is truly great. In it, he refers to a recent episode of 60 Minutes, which I vividly recall seeing myself a few years ago. It was about the happiest people in the world, and I found it tremendously thought-provoking and memorable. Here is Don’s take on it.
“A study done by a British university ranked the happiest countries, and America was far down the list, but Denmark was at the top. Morley Safer explored why. Ruling out financial status, physical health, and even social freedom, he landed on a single characteristic of the Danes that allowed then such contentment. The reasons the Danes are so happy was this: they had low expectations.
I’m not making that up. There is something in Denmark’s culture that allows them to look at life realistically. They don’t expect products to fulfill them or relationships to end all their problems.”
From my recollection of the study, there is another important aspect of Danish culture – their involvement in their own local communities. More than any of the other developed nations in the study, people in Denmark have a sense of equality and connectedness to each other. In fact, their values are so community-oriented that they have a popular government program which pays for citizens to get involved in local recreational and social groups. As a result, they are far less competitive than Americans. They are more likely to view success as a community, not as individuals in competition with one another. The Danes are a reasonable and communal people, which seems to make them significantly more content and happy than other people groups.
Donald Miller concludes his chapter with, “I’m trying to be a more Danish, I guess. And the thing is, it works. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting material possessions to complete you, you’d be surprised at how much pleasure you get in material possessions. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you’d be surprised how much you like spending time with God.“
Therefore, if American parents, teachers, and coaches were to adopt a more Danish approach to life, we might just be happier and more effective in helping the young people in our care. And isn’t that what we all want? But what would that look like?
Athletic talent is instant karma for the social status of any young man. In modern American mythology, the quarterback is the hero.
It’s easy for the athletically-gifted boy to be well-respected and popular because he is always among the biggest, fastest, strongest, and most coordinated boys in his grade. Anytime there is a physical contest, which is pretty much every hour of every day in a boy’s life, he succeeds. He gets picked first – maybe second – every time. And that is just the beginning of the fun. Win or lose, his God-given talent is on stage for all of his peers to see, sometimes garnering instant applause. Later, he will bask in the glory of hearing others review some great move or play he made. His friends will enter his bedroom to see a wall full of trophies, ribbons, and medals. In high school, he will see his name and picture in the local newspaper. It’s “The Life” for a boy.
For the most elite athlete, he doesn’t feel the NEED to be a good student, have a witty personality, or have great social skills. In some cases, he doesn’t even need to practice as hard as the others. He just needs to put on his shoes and go play ball and success happens because he has IT – the gift of athleticism. So, he gets self-esteem automatically, friends easily, and it can spoil him to the point where he is no longer developing in other important areas. His peers allow him to coast – and not grow up well.
And so it is with the beautiful girl. Everybody knows who she is. From the earliest age, people stare at her, trying to figure out what makes her so pretty. What’s her secret? All of her pictures turn out well because she is naturally photogenic. Her facial features are perfectly symmetrical with high cheekbones and bright eyes. Her skin is clear and bright. Her hair easily folds into the latest hairstyle, and her figure just gets better each year. She is Venus, goddess of love and beauty, who needs no decoration or modification. In modern mythology, the beautiful cheerleader is the goddess who captivates the hero.
She simply smiles politely, and everybody adores her. She doesn’t have to speak intelligently, get good grades, or have a snappy sense of humor. Her name is written on binders at school, and all eyes are on her in the halls. Read the rest of this entry »
Immediately after teaching my last class of the day, I ran out the back door and raced across town to pick up my son at school. We slipped into the theater seats just as the previews ended and Avatar began. The screen was all fuzzy until I slid on the 3D glasses, and my vision popped open wide. Once my eyes adjusted, I said to my son, “Whoa! Now that’s some high-definition 3D!” He said, “I know, it’s totally wicked!”
While nothing very important happened in the first 5 minutes, I was incredibly entertained by the effect of this new form of movie viewing. I felt inside the movie, but it didn’t seem strange or overwhelming like a theme park ride. Simply put, it is the most visually-interesting movie I have seen since I saw the first Star Wars in the theater when I was a young boy (I saw it seven times in the theater).
Aside from the truly spectacular visual effects, I want to offer some other thoughts about the film, in no particular order.
Is it appropriate for a young child? I was leery of taking my 11-year-old son to see a PG-13 movie, but after a little research, it seemed like there was nothing that would be too harmful for him to see. In the end, my research proved true. Read the rest of this entry »
High-tech gadgets can be used for plenty of good, true, and beautiful things. For instance…
4:00 PM Friday: My 11-year-old son is in the car with his mom, driving around town, doing errands. I am at work, bored out of my skull, grading a large stack of tests. He hijacks his mom’s cell phone to send me an urgent text message. It turns my misery into a wonderful little moment.
Son: Dad I just saw a sweet Nissan GTR and just about had a sejur!
Father: Cool. Not the near-seizure part, but the supercar part.
Son: I also saw what looked like a Shelby Mustang, Porsch coop,and masarati. i am so happy!
Father: Think what will be rolling down the streets in heaven.
What was the most popular Christmas gift this year for 5th graders? The Apple iPod iTouch. What is the most popular gift for 6th grade birthdays and graduations? Hands down, a “smart” cell phone. And what do they have in common that makes them so popular? The most coveted feature is the wireless internet accessibility, so that kids can surf the web, email, instant message, and play web-based games from their pocket-sized device at any WiFi hotspot (home, school, coffee shops, bookstores, etc). At first glance, it seems like a really fun toy and a great way to keep in touch with preteens who are increasingly mobile. In fact, it seems like a great safety device – a way to keep in touch, to know where kids are and what they are doing all the time, and to allow kids to call for help when needed.
But at what cost? What are the hidden costs that counter these benefits? How many parents are even aware that there are dangers in this wireless revolution? Well, let me pull back the curtain a little to show you what is really going on in the digital lives of many children and teenagers (and these are not just a few latchkey kids).
This week on the car radio, I overheard the most obnoxious sports radio talk show host furiously ranting and raving about how corrupt professional and big college sports have become. It went something like this: “Don’t let your kids idolize anyone in sports today! It’s an ugly business, full of greediness, lying, cheating, and everything that is wrong with this world. There are no role models in sports anymore!“ To me, it was a shocking rant because his livelihood is made from talking about sports, yet there he was betraying his industry with the most extreme language. He didn’t “pull a punch” or let anyone off the hook. He explained with the utmost disgust that all professional and big college athletes, coaches, and executives are tainted by the money, the power, and the fame.
It troubled me as I thought of the players from my childhood who were my role models: Cal Ripken Jr., Lou Brock, John Stockton, Roger Staubach, and Walter Payton. I thought about some of the role models that I have in sports now: Peyton Manning, Kurt Warner, Albert Pujols, and others. Are they in some way corrupt too? Are they just putting on a show for the public? Or are they just the extreme minority — one of just a very few people in the sports industry who have stayed grounded in spite of all the corruption around them? Or is this radio host just off his rocker once again?
Bouncing Back: Increasing Resilience for Hurting Kids
This is an excerpt from an article by Maria Drews on August 3, 2009. (Fuller Youth Institute)
Our kids face obstacles every day — difficulties with friends, stress at school, issues with boyfriends or girlfriends. But many of the students we work with also face larger obstacles-poverty, violence at school or in their neighborhood, parents getting divorced, substance abuse in their homes, homelessness, teenage pregnancy, abuse, or domestic violence. Remarkably, some kids seem to make it through these situations intact, while others crumble before our eyes.
Even more remarkably, there are kids who even thrive despite facing huge struggles. Which leaves us scratching our heads — Why are some kids able to bounce back from tough stuff, while others aren’t? What are the differences between those who seem to make it through in one piece and those who seem to fall apart? And what can we do to help more kids survive — and even thrive — in the midst of steep challenges?
Responses to Adversity
When adolescents face tough stuff, they experience adversity — defined in the research as serious stress or trauma that can be physical or psychological.1 Adversity can be a one-time event (such as a violent incident at school) or a long-term situation (like living in poverty). There are a lot of ways the teenagers we know might respond to adversity in their lives. Here are a few typical possibilities: Read the rest of this entry »
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “A healthy-minded boy should feel hearty contempt for the coward and even more hearty indignation for the boy who bullies girls or small boys, or tortures animals…“ Strong words from a strong man for boys.
It all starts on the playground. Boys treating girls disrespectfully is nothing new, however the new trend is that boys are treating girls as lesser boys, and it’s causing larger social problems. It starts as teasing and harassing on the playground and ends up in failed marriages and broken homes. Call it old-fashioned, but boys should treat girls BETTER than the guys.
Instead, boys bully girls, and the girls learn their own manipulative ways to fight back and against each other. (Certainly, girls are not without blame, for in many ways they perpetuate the problem, but that’s a whole other article.)
Girls were made to be different than boys, and it’s a wonderful thing which should be celebrated. Any attempts by a girl to be a boy typically winds up a mess, to say the least. Boys tend to push, wrestle, hit, and make fun of their best guy friends. And they say dumb — sometimes brutal — things to each other, and they tend to get over it pretty quickly. This behavior does not fly well with most girls, beside the fact that it’s just not appropriate in any way. What hatches in elementary school, grows fast in middle school, and is full-grown in high school — the battle of the sexes.
So, yes, boys should treat girls differently. They can and should be friends, but the nature of the friendship must be different than with the guys. There needs to be a much higher level of care and respect. The words and actions in the locker room should be different than in the company of girls because there IS a difference.
D.H. Lawrence, the literary giant, advised parents and teachers a century ago: “How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning.”
At first glance this seems to be the worst parenting advice in the history of written words. And to support that further, Lawrence had no children. However, there are situations in which this radical advice should be heeded: Helicopter parents. Paranoid teachers. Paralyzed administrators.
TIME magazine’s cover story (11-20-09) is a lengthy editorial, worth every bit of the 15 minutes it takes to read, especially if you are a hard-working, highly-committed parent or teacher under the age of fifty. You may not be a hovering, smothering parent or teacher; however, you still might benefit from a good dose of reality about how we — sometimes in subtle ways — over-protect, over-nurture, over-schedule, and over-stimulate the kids in our care.
Sometimes, less IS more, when raising kids to be significant, successful adults.
Give it a read, and please feel free to leave a comment about it below (anonymous comments are welcome). I’ll start it with my own comment.
Beauty is complicated. I feel sorry for our girls who have to grow up in this modern American society which twists and enlarges the meaning of beauty at every turn, every day. It’s a hostile environment for the self-image of young women.
Sometimes, it helps to go way back in time to find some truth. How about two thousand years? First Century Christians were taught this about beauty: “Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4) The world has changed, and always will, but truth has not.
External beauty is elusive, shallow, and fleeting. It’s mere eye candy. However, inner beauty is obtainable by all, deeply-satisfying, and eternally valuable – it’s just not as immediate, apparent, or exciting. Our girls need to know this as soon as possible. We can help them see real beauty, but as usual, it’s going to take some direction and a lot of love.
At our Thanksgiving party this year, we played a little game in which everyone answered a dozen questions about their favorite things in life. Then we read them one at a time and tried to guess who fit with the answers given. One of the questions was “What is your favorite movie?” Being a movie buff, I gave it some serious consideration then chose “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Tonight my son asked to watch it, since I have talked about it for years, but we have never gotten around to watching it. We started it tonight and will finish it later this week.
I can’t say enough about this film. It’s well-written, well-acted, and well-filmed. But more importantly, it strikes a chord — several chords — deep in my soul, every time I watch it. Most importantly, it makes me want to be a better man and to live my life as well as I can for my friends, family, and community. Deep down, I want to be counted in the ranks of the George Baileys of the world. And if I can’t, then I want my son to get there upon my shoulders.
“It’s a Wonderful Life” should be required viewing for every young person growing up. Anyone over the age of ten should see this movie with their parents, grandparents, or any adult who cares enough to explain what’s going on as the film rolls. If you haven’t seen it in a few years, do so. And bring a kid along for the ride.
This movie says it all about growing up well. It does not hide the truth that life is hard, and it’s even harder for those who choose to serve others. It teaches just about every character trait you would want to see in a young man or woman. In no way is it an easy life — just ask George Bailey — but it’s worth it all.
Here’s a fun little trivia game for lovers of this movie…Click here
Why can’t we be thankful? Why is having an attitude of gratitude so difficult? Even the most optimistic people have many days in which everything seems to be going badly, when nothing seems right. Indeed, there are awful things we have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience. Nobody is immune from trouble. In time, every person experiences intense grief, disappointment, or depression. It’s a necessary part of being human.
However, our culture does not deal well with trouble. It likes to gloss over it. For example, at DisneyWorld there is an exhibit which encourages its passengers to “turn that frown upside down!” Oh, if life were only that simple.
Even the Bible does not require us to be happy and smiling all the time. Instead, it challenges us to be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:17). There is a big difference between a happy face and a thankful heart. Happiness is an instantaneous bliss. It’s a bit like pouring gas on a fire; it flares up fast, bright and hot, but it does not last very long. On the other hand, a thankful heart is a deeper joy, not mere emotion. It’s more like pouring a bucket of charcoal on a fire because it burns slowly, deeply, and for a very long time. Therefore, happiness is great for a moment, but thankfulness is eternally rewarding.
I recently read a blog which touted a new book called NurtureShock which seems to dispel a wide variety of well-accepted myths about raising children in America today. It seems like a very interesting, well-researched book. Unfortunately, I have a stack of a dozen excellent books that I want to read when I get the time. The time for me is usually in the summer. But buying one more book right now doesn’t make much sense at this point in my life.
However, if someone were to say, “You REALLY need to read this book. It helped me so much,” then I would surely put it on the top of the stack.
So, I am asking you — Yes, you — for suggestions. I am begging: What is the best book you have read on parenting, teaching, or coaching? Please leave a comment (anonymous is ok), even if it’s just the title and author.
Even better: Leave a comment about the worst book you have read on the topic, or at least the worst part of a book. Or perhaps there is an author or talk show host who says all the wrong things. Bring it on.
Very few things anymore take a long time to happen. Nearly everything is available in an instant. Instant messaging. Movies on demand. Cell phones with internet access. Instant winners. Ultra-fast food. Five-minute total-body workouts. You name it, and America can make it faster, so we can fit more into our days.
A major component of growing up is learning to deal with long waits and unexpected delays of all kinds. Mature adults learn that many of the best things in life take a long time to develop. A great education takes twenty years. A rock-solid, happy marriage takes a good decade to develop. A garden is made over the course of many months, with daily tending. Hunting or fishing takes tremendous patience and skill developed over years of practice. Many of us are awaiting Spring flowers already. These are some of the greatest joys of living, and some people just flat-out miss out. They’d prefer a TV dinner to a slow-roasted turkey.
Abigail Van Buren once wrote, “Maturity is: The ability to stick with a job until it’s finished; The ability to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.”
Veteran’s Day is a humbling holiday. There are no presents exchanged or extravagant meals shared. In fact, if celebrated properly there should be at least a few melancholy moments of deep respect for those who have sacrificed and are sacrificing to make the United States of America the home of the free.
We enjoy abundant freedom, prosperity, peace, and safety due to the voluntary sacrifices of the men and women of the Armed Forces of the past, present, and future.
Let’s not forget to honor those who have served as our protectors. We owe it to them to live well, making the most of our freedom, to make this nation better than it was. That begins with us and must be passed on to the next generation.
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